Funny Poems/Sayins/Etc?

[TJ]

I Wanna See Some
Funny Poems/Sayings/Etc

In This Thread !

You Can Use Your Own
Or
Copied But Let Us Know !

What'cha Waitin' For?
Start Posting

[Tomb Raider]

i found this old e-mail in a drawer at home hope you like it

subject:We Scots are a hardy breed.
THE SCOTTISH WAY OF LIFE.
40degreesF-Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Scotland strip down to their vests and sunbathe.

35degreesF-Italian cars won't start.
People in Scotland drive with the windows down.

20degreesF-Folk in Florida wear coats,gloves and wool hats.
People in Scotland throw on a long sleeved t-shirt.

15degreesF-Californians begin to evacuate the state.
People in Scotland go swimming in the North Sea.

Zero degreesF-New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Scotland have the last BBQ before it gets cold.

10 degrees below zero-In Miami,mortality rate due to exposure rockets.
People in Scotland enjoy an ice-cream.

20 degrees below zero- Californians fly away to Mexico for a holiday.
People in Scotland relent and throw on a light jacket.

80 degrees below zero- Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Scottish boy scouts postpone "Winter survival" classes because its not cold enough.

100 degrees below zero - Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
People in Scotland pull down the flaps on their balaclavas.

173 degrees below zero - Ethyl alcohol freezes.
People in Scotland get frustrated when they can't defrost their porridge.

297 degrees below zero- Microbial life starts to disappear.
Scottish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 degrees below zero- All atomic motion stops.
People in Scotland start saying "Here it's chilly ,you cauld an aw?"

500 degrees below zero- Hell freezes over.
PEOPLE IN SCOTLAND START TO SUPPORT ENGLAND IN THE 2002 WORLD CUP!!!!!!

[Mutteruk]

hehe thats funny... heres a phrase i never understood can anyone help??

as pissed as a fart

it has confused me for years!!

[Tomb Raider]

here's another one "pissed as a newt"
Iv'e never seen a newt with a beer!

[TJ]

Here's a few more I've heard...


Pissed as a door-nail,
Pissed as a skunk,
Pissed as a wet-rag,
This is the one that gets me though...Pissed as the morning light


Had to modify my post again How about this one...

You can have your cake & eat it too
DAMN STRAIGHT " I'm Gonna eat it too "

[GrimsGirl]

[glow=HotPink,4,300]This is a funny saying that makes me laugh everytime when someone says "I see" then I say "said the blind man looking up the woman's skirt" ;D lol[/glow]

[DEX - \m/]

here's some.. one liners...funny sayings

(if some one says jokingly you want shot)
They don't give monkeys guns (except on planet of the apes)

You look well have you been ill(my fav)

It's mind over matter I don't mind and you don't matter

It's on a need to know basis and you don't need to know

If I want your oppinnion I will give you it


How did the KANGAROO get it's name..........
A scotsman was stuck in a cupboard and shouted I cannegeroo(tomb will get that one )

[TJ]

GrimsGirl said:

[glow=HotPink,4,300]This is a funny saying that makes me laugh everytime when someone says "I see" then I say "said the blind man looking up the woman's skirt" ;D lol[/glow]

DEX said:

here's some.. one liners...funny sayings

You Look Well Have You Been Ill ROTF Well I've Been Ill & Look Fricken Ill So WTF Made That One Up

I Get That Alot From Hubby...If I Wanted Your Opinion I'd Ask You For It But If He Ever Said It The Way You Texted It

[Tomb Raider]

DEX said:

How did the KANGAROO get it's name..........
A scotsman was stuck in a cupboard and shouted I cannegeroo(tomb will get that one )

;D ;D ;D

[Rain]

dex said:

[GLOW=RED,2,300]here's some.. one liners...funny sayings [/GLOW]

[GLOW=NAVY,2,300]If I want your oppinnion I will give you it [/GLOW]

[GLOW=LIMEGREEN,2,300]How did the KANGAROO get it's name..........

A scotsman was stuck in a cupboard & shouted I cannegeroo (tomb will get that one ) [/GLOW]

[GLOW=BLUE,2,300]
OMG IS THAT EVER FUNNY !!!
I SURE MISS DEX IN HERE

COUGHS AHEM TOMBIERAIDER
IS THIS TRUE ;D [/GLOW]

[GLOW=RED,2,300]LOVE THE OPINION ONE TOO ITs SO TRUE ;D [/GLOW]

[Tomb Raider]

yes all true

[TJ]

TJ Asking Tombraider " Come Again " ?
Our First Attempts On The Mic On Msn
But
Now I Understand Her Accent Just Fine

[Norsman]

There Once was a man named Norse
whos thing was as big as a horse
he went to the doc to shorten his sock
and now his boot fits of course LOL

_{TJ edited pic url}

[TJ]

Way too funny Norsman

I was on Msn with Nors when he typed this to me & he says I'm posting this ;D

[Rain]

norsmen said:

There Once was a man named Norse
whos thing was as big as a horse
he went to the doc to shorten his sock
and now his boot fits of course LOL

TO SEE NORSMAN HAS APPEARED SEEMS LIKE OUTTA NOWHERE BUT SEE HE HAD GOOD REASON HE WAS ON A SOCK MISSION WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN NORSMAN?

GREAT TO SEE YOU BACK AND HOPE TO SEE MORE IN THE DUNGEON FROM YOU DAGNABIT HUGS