|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner 
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:40:08 GMT -5
« Reply #1 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 10:51pm By: Iceman666 »Two foreign nuns have just arrived in the USA by boat and one says to the
other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as
well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the Mother Superior points to a hot dog vendor and
they both walk towards the cart.
"Two dogs, please," she says.
The vendor is only too pleased to oblige and he wraps both hot dogs in foil
and hands them over the counter. Excited, the nuns hurry over to a bench
and begin to unwrap their "dogs."
The Mother Superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then,
staring at it for a moment, leans over to the other nun and whispers
cautiously, "What part did you get?"
i got a bit of a kick out of this one... 
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:41:10 GMT -5
« Reply #2 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 10:54pm By: Iceman666 »
This is a good one:
A pregnant woman walks into a bank, and lines up at the first available
teller. Just at that moment the bank gets robbed and she is shot three
times in the stomach. She was rushed to the hospital where she was fixed
up. As she leaves she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor says, "Oh! You're going to have triplets. They're fine but
each one has a bullet lodged in its stomach. Don't worry though, the
bullets will pass through their system through normal metabolism."
As time goes on the woman has three children, two girls and a boy.
Twelve years later, one of the girls comes up to her mother and says
"Mommy, I've done a very weird thing!"
Her mother asks her what happened and her daughter replies, "I passed a
bullet into the toilet." The woman comforts her and explains all about
the accident at the bank.
A few weeks later, her other daughter comes up to her with tears
streaming from her eyes.
"Mommy, I've done a very bad thing!" The mother says, "Let me guess.
You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"
The daughter looks up from her teary eyes and says, "Yes, how did you
know?"
The mother comforts her child and explains about the incident at the
bank.
A month later the boy comes up and says, "Mommy, I've done a very bad
thing!"
"You passed a bullet into the toilet, right?"
"No, I was masturbating and I shot the dog."
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:41:59 GMT -5
« Reply #3 on: Apr 8th, 2003, 11:04pm By: Iceman666 »This one is because it is so true...
President Clinton was looking for a call girl and he found three
such ladies in a local bar: a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette.
To the blonde he said "I am the President of the United States of
America. How much will it cost me to spend some time with you?"
The blonde replied, "For you, Mr. President, it will cost $500."
To the Redhead he asked the same question. She replied "I will
spend all the time you want for $1,000."
When he approached the brunette he asked the same question, she
said, "if you can raise my skirt as high as my taxes, and get
your pants as low as my wages, and get that thing of yours as
hard as times are now, and screw me as well as you do the public,
believe me, it won't cost you a damn thing!"
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:43:09 GMT -5
Reply #4 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 02:45am By: LORDofAGONY  I wanna get a tattoo of a butt, with a butt-shaped tatoo on it... and it would be on my butt.Last Edit: Apr 9th, 2003, 02:45am by LordOfAgony
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:44:10 GMT -5
« Reply #5 on: Apr 9th, 2003, 4:53pm By: Iceman666 »
hehe...
A man walks into a doctors office. He says, " Doctor, I'm suffering from silent
gas emissions. All day at work, I have these silent gas emissions. Last night
during a movie, I had 10 silent gas emissions. This morning in the car on the
way to your office, I had five silent gas emissions. And while waiting in your
waiting room I had three silent gas emissions. Right now, as a matter of fact,
I've just had two more."
The doctor replied, "Well, the first thing we're going to do is check is your
hearing!"
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:45:33 GMT -5
« Reply #6 on: Jun 4th, 2003, 1:35pm By: Guest Cocoapuffs »I wanna get a tattoo of a butt, with a butt-shaped tatoo on it... and it would be on my butt.
ON TO WHAT I THINK IS FUNNY...PPL LIKE THIS ANDREWSTHEMAN! HE'S GOT SOME SERIOUS ISSUES AND I THINK THEY NEED 2 B TONED DOWN WITH A LITTLE......
COCOAPUFFS HIS WAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:46:22 GMT -5
« Reply #7 on: Jun 30th, 2003, 11:02am By: Philosopher15 »
Funny stories huh? well i have one that is quiet embarassing and extremely funny
Scene:Going into McDonald's
Who:Me and 3 Friends
When:6/24/03 12A.M. cst
Well its 12 at night and me and my friends are hungry so we decide that going to McDonalds would be the quickest and easiest choice for food so we drive over there get out of my friends car and in the process of trying to open the door.....i walk into it....you see i keep trying to open it by push until my friend Jason tells me that i need to pull in order to get inside well i was so embarassed because my CRUSH works there and he saw me acting like the Blonde i am....lmao it was so funny though i couldnt stop laughing.....oh well maybe nexted time ill remember how to open the door without using my face...LMAO
Callisto
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:47:11 GMT -5
« Reply #8 on: Jul 10th, 2003, 11:45pm By: CORKMAN » lol thats funny but what your supposed to do is go through the drive through naked.
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:48:07 GMT -5
« Reply #9 on: Jul 11th, 2003, 2:09pm By: Philosopher15 »
lol i cant he works the window plus my sis works there now she be all to happy to tell my mom so id like to try that though when i get my licences!
Callisto
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:49:09 GMT -5
« Reply #10 on: Jul 12th, 2003, 05:01am By: CORKMAN »Yeah well everybody has to do it sometime!
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:49:56 GMT -5
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:50:59 GMT -5
« Reply #12 on: Aug 17th, 2003, 05:32am By: CORKMAN »*shaking my head*
oh come on everybody should do it or at least run through the front door and out the back one naked its just a must do thing.
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:51:50 GMT -5
« Reply #13 on: Sep 6th, 2003, 1:53pm By: DEX » speaking of going threw a drive threw naked.....
You wanna try it in a car wash you would be surprised where those brushes can reach .........ouch
but I've never been cleaner and that once a year feeling when I get washed....Priceless
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:52:37 GMT -5
« Reply #14 on: Sep 6th, 2003, 9:19pm By: CORKMAN »OUCH!!!!!!! oh god Dex........once a year lol....u must smell worse than drunk ppl and bogans.
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:53:09 GMT -5
« Reply #15 on: Sep 8th, 2003, 12:36pm By: TJ »  Bogans, lmbo! Hmmm, any person that smells like alcohol whether they're bogans or not is just plain gross! And I assure you that our dear friend Dex is well kept in his boxers,lol. Screaming at the darn crows 5am his time and 8pm your time,lol. Just think of that every night at 8 at night, lmbo. Think of our dear Dex screaming outside at those black crows  ...Maybe not bathing is his tactic of shewwwwing those pests away  ... Something to think about, lmbo!!! |
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:53:58 GMT -5
« Reply #16 on: Sep 9th, 2003, 04:45am By: CORKMAN »Dex i was just thinking (and now my brain hurts) why don't you...........well im sure i had something almost intelligent to say but its just gone now but yeah the important thing is that i WAS going to say something.
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:54:45 GMT -5
« Reply #17 on: Sep 9th, 2003, 11:56am By: DEX »Like is that a bad thing.............
my dog has no no nose..........how does it smell bloody terrible
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:55:43 GMT -5
« Reply #18 on: Oct 6th, 2003, 3:57pm By: MAC » Last week, at work, there was this client waiting. It was an older man, 60 or so. I said to him : 'Can I help you, sir?' and he started coughing and sneezing. I got a bit worried because it didn't stop. So I asked him : 'Are you ok, sir?'. He sneezed one more time and then said : 'Sorry, I was just a bit excited by looking at you.' and then he winked at me!
Then it struck me : OMG, an older man is flirting with me. And he's not even serious about it! And then the awful truth : I'm old 
So I tried to keep my dignity and answered : 'That's a good one, never heard that one before' and offered him a tic-tac ;D
|
|
TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
|
Post by TJ on Jan 12, 2004 18:56:36 GMT -5
« Reply #19 on: Oct 28th, 2003, 10:33pm By: YATA » once i ran to the toilet and i was too late and shit my pants right infront of the toilet
|
|
