TJ
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Post by TJ on Dec 19, 2003 13:43:29 GMT -5
Original Thread started on: Sep 20th, 2003, 02:06am By: TJ [glow=Yellow,4,500]BLONDE JOKES[/glow] How can you tell if a blonde has been using a computer?
There's white-out on the screen.
How can you tell when a FAX has been sent from a blonde?
There's a stamp on it.
What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone
had already written on the overhead transparency?
She turned it over and used the other side.
Why should you never take a blonde out for coffee?
It's too hard to re-train them.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Ask her to alphabetize a bag of M&Ms.
Why did the blonde call the welfare office?
She wanted to know how to cook food stamps.
Why can't blondes put in light bulbs?
They keep breaking them with the hammers.
What goes VROOM, SCREECH,VROOM,
SCREECH,VROOM, SCREECH?
A blonde going through a flashing red light.
What is eternity?
When 4 blondes meet at a 4-way-stop-sign-intersection!
Why did the blonde get thrown out of the M & M factory?
She kept throwing out all the W's.
How can you tell if a blonde is having a bad day?
When she has a tampon on her ear and she doesn't
know where she put her cigarette.
How can you tell if another blonde has been using the computer?
There's writing on the white-out.
Pass On The Fun
&
HAVE A GREAT DAY  !
Hey - Keep An Eye On Those
Blondes -
They Need Our Help, Right?  |
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TJ
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Post by TJ on Dec 19, 2003 13:44:13 GMT -5
« Reply #1 on: Sep 20th, 2003, 02:10am »
A blind man enters a ladies only bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for awhile, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, barkeep, you wanna hear a good blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it is just fair - giving that you are blind - that you should know five things:
1 - The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 - The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3 - I'm a 6 feet tall, 220 lb. blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4 - The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5 - The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler. Now think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?
The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares,
"Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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TJ
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Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Dec 19, 2003 13:44:57 GMT -5
« Reply #2 on: Sep 28th, 2003, 11:22pm »WHO'S THE DUMMY? A young ventriloquist is doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he is going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the third row stands up and starts shouting: "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes! What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you that keep women like me from being respected at work in in the community and from reaching our full potential as a person, because you and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against, not only blondes, but all women in general... and all in the name of humor!"
The ventriloquist is embarrassed and begins to apologize, when the blonde yells..."You Stay Out Of This Mister!
I'm Talking To The Little Jerk On Your Knee!"
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TJ
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Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Dec 19, 2003 13:46:43 GMT -5
« Reply #3 on: Sep 28th, 2003, 11:43pm By: CORKMAN » LMFAO...............its funny cause its true.
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TJ
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Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Dec 19, 2003 13:49:54 GMT -5
« Reply #5 on: Nov 29th, 2003, 08:18am By: DEX » -cool jokes gg........... ;D
love pam anderson lee\rock\ jokes who ever else has been threw her lol
she's had more slams then a front door....
more kisses then the world series trophy... ;D.
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TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Jan 15, 2004 23:47:44 GMT -5
[glow=Yellow,4,500]BLONDE![/glow] A Plane Is On It's Way To Melbourne, Australia When A Blonde In Economy Class Gets Up & Moves To The First Class Section & Sits Down.
The Flight Attendant Watches Her Do This & Asks To See Her Ticket. She Then Tells The Blonde Passenger That She Paid For 'Economy' & That She Will Have To Go & Sit In The Back.
The Blonde Replies, " I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful, I'm Going To Melbourne & I'm Staying Right Here!
The Flight Attendant Goes Into The Cockpit & Tells The Co-Pilot That There Is Some Blonde Bimbo Sitting In First Class That Belongs In Economy & Won't Move Back To Her Seat.
The Co-Pilot Goes Back To The Blonde & Tries To Explain That Because She Only Paid For Economy She Is Only Entitled To An Economy Place & She Will Have To Leave & Return To Her Original Seat.
The Blonde Replies, " I'm Blonde, I'm Beautiful, I'm Going To Melbourne & I'm Staying Right Here "!
Exasperated The Co-Pilot Tells The Pilot That It Was NO Use & That He Probably Should Have The Police Waiting When They Land To Arrest This Blonde Woman That Won't Listen To Reason.
The Pilot Says, " You Say She's Blonde? I'll Handle This, I'm Married To A Blonde & I Speak Blonde "! He Goes Back To The Blonde, Whispers In Her Ear, & She Says
" Oh, I'm Sorry - I Had No Idea," Gets Up & Moves Back To Her Seat In The Economy Section.
The Flight Attendant & Co-Pilot Are Amazed & Asked Him What He Said To Make Her Move Without Any Fuss? THE PILOT REPLIED,  " I TOLD HER FIRST CLASS ISN'T GOING TO MELBOURNE " !  |
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DEX - \m/
DuNgEoN Manatee's
Keep It Loud
Posts: 1,069
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Post by DEX - \m/ on Jan 29, 2004 11:52:31 GMT -5
:)thanks i should have thought but was busy crying with laffing |
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TJ
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Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Jan 29, 2004 14:36:51 GMT -5
It's Ok Dex Just Seen A Blondey Joke & Moved It Np! Good One At That Too  |
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TJ
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:16:22 GMT -5
Blonde Goes Into A
Computer Shop
Looking For Curtains
For Her PC...
Assistant Says...
" You Don't Need Curtains
For Your Computer "!
Blonde Says...
" Helloooo! It's Got Window's! '' |
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TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:34:26 GMT -5
Why Can't A Blonde
Dial 911 ?
Cos' She Can't Find
The 11
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TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:35:59 GMT -5
What Kinds Of People
Don't Get Invited To
Blonde Parties?
Women! |
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TJ
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Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:39:26 GMT -5
[glow=Yellow,4,500]A Blonde's Brain At Work[/glow] A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."
So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.
"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."
"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught." |
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TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:51:20 GMT -5
[glow=Yellow,4,500]Adventures in Disneyland[/glow]
Two Blondes
Were Going To Disneyland
When They Came To
A Fork In The Road.
The Sign Read...
" Disneyland Left " ...
So They Went Home. |
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TJ
Administrator/Owner
Posts: 6,058
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Post by TJ on Feb 10, 2004 17:54:59 GMT -5
[glow=Yellow,4,500]Alligator Shoes [/glow] A young blonde was on vacation in the depths of Louisiana. She wanted a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.
After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator so I can get a pair of shoes at a reasonable price!"
The shopkeeper said, "By all means, be my guest. Maybe you'll luck out and catch yourself a big one!" Determined, the blonde turned and headed for the swamps, set on catching herself an alligator.
Later in the day, the shopkeeper was driving home, when he spotted the young woman standing waist deep in the water, shotgun in hand. Just then, he saw a huge 9-foot alligator swimming quickly toward her. She took aim, killed the creature, and with a great deal of effort hauled it on to the swamp bank. Lying nearby were several more of the dead creatures. The shopkeeper watched in amazement. Just then the blonde flipped the alligator on its back, and frustrated, shouts out,
" Damn it, this one isn't wearing any shoes either!" |
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Post by Mutteruk on Mar 16, 2004 9:22:24 GMT -5
hawhaw hawhaw!!!
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Myself 
A blonde bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that she cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested she notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested she measure the horses for height. When she did, she was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse! 
